written by
Trudi Pavlovsky

Good Girls Don’t: But Why the Eff Not?

3 min read
Photographer: Priscilla Du Preez | Source: Unsplash

I think we all know that we get taught behavior as children and it forms how we behave in our adult life.

Childhood is all about foundations for life, right.

Parents, teachers, peers and pop culture all play a part.

Often not a great, part due to being limited by their own unhealed wounds and trauma history and rules and regulations that haven’t been updated since the 50s.

The pop culture part isn’t always bad, I was lucky and I got the emergence of women super heroes in the late 70s and early 80s for my influence.

I do love Princess Leia, Bionic Woman and She-Ra. (the new She-Ra series on Netflix is pretty cute)

But the problem with my up bringing that even with those amazing super hero role models we are competing with install values from people with more influence in our lives.

And this means the behaviours and responses we have go deep.

There's stress that comes with going against what we consider our nature (but the nature for many of us has come from nurture and isn't who we truly are)

We are reflections of family values and what was happening around us at the time.

Let me know if this resonates, the intention can be to push back but the resistance can make it a challenge.

Even as we age it's still here and can show up as destructive rebelliousness when we finally break.

I know for many women I speak to there is a yearning to step up and not play by the good girl rules.

Yet they don't because it feels uncertain and risky.

But what if good girls did instead?

· Took up space.

· Spoke loudly and excited about what they are passionate about.

· Didn’t wait to be asked but put their hands up and claimed what they desired.

What if all that conditioning of sit down, don’t ask, be quiet, be polite, be nice: didn’t exist?

What would happen if we had more women stepping up and saying fuck you that’s enough?

I finally got my chance today to do a bit of reportage at London Fashion Week, where I witnessed a peaceful protest against London Fashion week, highlighting the cruel use of real fur in some of their clothes. This is a side of fashion no one talks about so it was good to be on the scene and be part of history.
Photographer: Clem Onojeghuo | Source: Unsplash

Taking over governments, changing the rules, protesting and marching harder for what good girls are told is not for them, stopping the shitty behavior that’s been instilled by the patriarchy, what if the good girls did all of that?

Would they still be good girls?

And the answer to that is a resounding YES!

Ladies, it is time for us to let go of what childhood mis-taught us.

The first being that we are girls!

And we are still trapped by the mindset, values and beliefs that out-dated times and generations showed us as the truth.

It starts with a simple decision to make.

We can be great women, be good and be good at it without any fear, shame guilt or judgement.

Judgement is so last year.

I know the internal struggle that we can face in changing our lives. We have been told that to be good we must sacrifice, suffer and martyr ourselves but it’s a lie.

Photographer: Priscilla Du Preez | Source: Unsplash

Conditioning is not a permanent condition.

Lets stop being good girls and be happy and empowered women instead.

What’s a good girl rule you can break today?

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