written by
Trudi Pavlovsky

The Simple Sum for Happiness

Mindset 6 min read

Today we shall look at a simple sum for happiness.

Pencil on system of equations
Photographer: Antoine Dautry | Source: Unsplash

As human beings we do like to complicate things.

Especially as we get older we layer on a consequence bias and everything gets really, really difficult.

As somebody who spent many years depressed, full of self-loathing, thinking that I was a shit person, life was bad, as well as having spent the last 10 plus years studying how the body works, the mind works, emotions, coaching processes, energy and stuff, I’ve discovered that experiencing happiness doesn't actually have to be that difficult.

So I want to give you this simple formula I know and I'm also going to put this out there.

People gonna fight for their limitations.

People going to fight for their individuality and their uniqueness.

My friend Mo was fighting so he invited me to come along.  I took this picture of his coach and him in-between rounds.  Mo ended up winning the fight in a unanimous decision by the referee.
Photographer: Xuan Nguyen | Source: Unsplash

I often here “It's easy for you, it's okay for you. But I'm this.” This is where people then layer in identity stuff, which is all the stuff we work on in Alignment.

But you get to decide who you are, what your identity is, you get to decide in every moment how you want to show up and who you want to be.

Now, the simple sum for happiness, add more happy and start letting go of the sad.

Now it sounds really simple and I know there's going to be people out there that saying “Trudi that's really trite, and you know my depression is deep. I've had it a long time. It's really complex and complicated”

Here’s what I have learnt over the years: if you work to build your happiness from the very simple foundations, if you start with incremental steps to create change in your life and if you work, not only on your thinking, your myelinated neural pathways, and start working with your physical body, plus the emotional and mental aspect of being, you will change.

You can start adding in more happy.

Photographer: bruce mars | Source: Unsplash

Start practicing daily gratitude for what you do have, and you will start to create a shift in your cellular body, in your emotional state, in how you feel and in how you start making decisions.

With incremental, gentle steps, your happiness will last because it has a solid foundation it is being built on.

The biggest problem I see out there, when people are working on their happiness and chasing their joy is they end up getting in their own way.

Not only is the language because they're chasing it, and they're always putting it out in front of them.

This is the mental programming that blocks the emotions from being available.

There's this thing where people do these big grandiose gestures of like, I'm really depressed. I'm gonna go out and do this big thing that's gonna make me happy.

The problem with that is in that moment, sure, they might feel happy, you might feel good, you might go and do the sky dive or something but what you're doing is you're spiking out your nervous system and you're freaking your body out.

It’s the same with a big shopping spree and maxing out your credit card with no concrete means to pay it back.

Feels good and a little reckless in the moment, it gives you a buzz, but it doesn’t last.

In fact, you will most likely experience a big crash three days later.

En la playa de Torremolinos.
Photographer: Quino Al | Source: Unsplash

We operate from a cellular set point and everybody's point is different.

If you move out of a certain set point bandwidth, you trigger your nervous system, you freak your body out, you start creating space for sabotage and unhappiness.

The simple sum for happiness is, stop feeling like you have to do the big things and start working on the daily practice.

Start asking in this moment, what do I need to feel better?

If you're starting from a really low spot where you're depressed and angry ask, “What do I need in this moment to feel a little better”.

If you're feeling pretty good, but life's a bit flat and a bit bland. “What do I need to let go of to allow in a little bit more happy today?”

In every moment, start making a conscious choice.

Start working on your set point, start gently building yourself up, so you're not triggering a nervous system response.

The extreme high then creates the extreme low.

So to balance you out to bring you back to your set point, you crash low.

You can build this happiness incrementally, gently, with appreciation and gratitude for what you do have. So over time, more happiness equals sad is gone.

When you work incrementally to increase your happy, one day you wake up and go, “Hey, I feel pretty good. I feel a lot better than where I was six months ago or a year ago.”

I'm living proof it can happen.

It starts with making a decision, and then making choices based on that decision.

Now I work with the mind, the body, the emotions, the spiritual, the vibrational, the energetic, so you know happiness does have layers.

But start with these simple steps.

It's the simple sum for happiness.

I know it works.

I know you can do it, no matter where you are, in your equation in your set point where you're starting from just giving yourself permission, is that very first step and if you need help with that, you know, reach out, talk to me.

Do the little things daily.

I wake up every morning and I say a morning prayer to God. I asked God how can I serve today because serving you makes me happy.

That brings me joy that allows me fulfilment and purpose.

Your happiness could be something as simple as just sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine for five minutes, you will have your own barometers and measurements for happiness.

I can only give you some tips and suggestions to help you let go of the identity of I'm sad, I'm depressed, I am miserable, and start opening up to I am allowed to be happy.

I can give myself permission to be curious about what it could be like to live happier every day.

Curiosity is a great thing, right? Because there's no pressure.

It's just curiosity, just looking and seeking for something that you may not have truly allowed yourself to experience before.

Photographer: Chase Clark | Source: Unsplash

I am your happiness coach, I am here to help you step into your purpose, redefine your identity.

That's what you need, and to live your happiest life.

So let me know how I can help.

If you want to know more about Alignment, my group programme to shift identity to purpose and to show you how to be truly happy, check out the link below.

It's my mission. It's my purpose to help you feel happier.

Because you can actually start finding your joy now.

I've got you.

I’ve lived the low and grown into happy.

Let's get happy, let's feel fulfilled. Let's step into our purpose because this is what's going to change the planet.

Now, this is what the world needs more of us being happy and fulfilled and aligned with who we are and our identity and what we're doing.

I truly, truly believe that and I believe in you.

If you want to get your happy on, live to your purpose and change your life: join Alignment here: I WANT A HAPPY LIFE!

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