written by
Trudi Pavlovsky

Do coaches need to be held at a higher level of account?

Mindset 3 min read

Can you empower women while fucking a married man?

I read a post on Facebook where a woman shared her "truth" about having an affair with a married man and being totally ok with it.

No guilt, no worry about being caught out (posting it publicly probably has all her married friends running to check their husbands phones)

We stood cliff side looking out upon the infinite horizon of life.
Photographer: Alex Iby | Source: Unsplash

She is an empowerment coach for women, yet is quite happy to admit she sleeping with a married man.

It seems like a contradiction to me.

I read her post more than once and nowhere in there did she say that the other woman was open to this situation or that the woman even knew about it.

Hence it being an affair.

The post read as to me a woman saying "I am beyond reproach. I can do what I want because I’m speaking my truth and I am a coach" especially when the push back began in the comments.

I chose not to engage in the post itself but did want to ask "As long as you’re speaking your truth, it makes your shitty behaviour OK?"

It is this what the coaching industry has turned into?

This is something that I believe is really wrong with the coaching industry at present, the whole "I am in my truth so any judgement you have against me is YOUR problem"

Photographer: Kyrylo Kholopkin | Source: Unsplash

Chick, when you shared that with a nude photo of yourself, you actually stank of desperation and needing of approval.

Nothing empowering in the post or image at all.

I have nothing wrong with open relationships, polyamory, if it works for everyone.

I don’t mind I don’t care as long as it’s all consensual but having been the woman whose partner was sleeping with another woman myself, I found her post particularly disturbing.

She wasnt in a vulnerable situation herslef, she knew her behaviour would hurt the other woman.

But to dress it up as being empowered?

As a coach I would expect her to understand the repercussions of her behavior on another person who didn’t asked to be in that situation

I also understand that she was also using the situation as a chance to polarise her audience.

Polarising your audience can be amazing for your marketing. I've done it and maybe this post will ruffle a few feathers.

I loathe it being used in a way that really hurts and upsets people. And as an excuse to justify your shitty behaviour.

Has the coaching industry gotten so askew that it’s now an excuse for behavior that hurts others?

Does somehow, having the title of coach give, you permission to do whatever you want and removes any moral value or judgment around your actions?

I confess that I am a little triggered by her behaviour because for six months a woman was texting and sexting and video chatting with my former partner, knowing that I didn’t know she even existed.

Willingly being a part of somebody’s deception against somebody that they’re saying they love.

Let’s play Scrabble
Photographer: Gabby Orcutt | Source: Unsplash

This woman was not a coach, and was quite vulnerable herself in many ways so as much as I don't condone her behaviour in this situation I have let go of the rage.

So my questions remains "Do we need to hold coaches to a higher level of account?"

I kind of thought because of the work the coaches did that we would be holding ourselves to a higher level of account.

What's your thoughts on the topic?